Am I Being Too Emotional?

Sometimes, we didn't realize the feeling we had towards someone is really deep. We start doing stupid things. And we sometimes unintentionally hurting them from the inside.

Being in a failed relationship for few times make me create a wall around myself. Make me wonder should I keep the wall higher or should I try t open it up? I decided to keep on building it high to keep people out of reach. To ensure I won't get hurt again. Cause the feeling is really suck.

I am happy living in the wall until I forgot how's the life outside there. One day, he came and trying to knock them off. It's not easy to love someone so fragile like me. Even before, I warned him that it won't be easy.
I'm not who I am before.

I am too emotional. Small things can be a big things to me.
I don't like when his best friend being rude or saying things to me, even it's just a joke.
I don't like seeing him sit too close with his girl friends, even they are just friends.
I don't like him talking to them, cause the way the "bitches" talk make me wanna slap them.
And the lists goes on.

I'm not being jealous. I'm not being bossy. I'm just insecure. Try to be in my shoe and you will understand.
I'm sick of being cheated and heart broken. I couldn't care less.
I'm scared to be serious cause I don't want it to fail half way. I just go with the flow. I don't want to be over the top. Lesson learnt before.

I don't care what will happen next. If being too emotional will put me in deep shit, I accept it.
I rather be in deep shit than to be hurt again.

I'm sorry dear for being too emotional. If you are really the one for me, and if you really show it and don't fake it up, I will completely ruin the whole wall and be myself again.

And I hope that you'll be there when the day come.

Till then.

Love,
Puteri